Dec 31, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  Let's stop this for 2019.

Paid work - state holiday, so no. 

Creative work - most of the day was spent on backups, but some bits done on the new project.

Overall - a bad day, with bad news, no good news, I hope 2019 will be better but hope is for fools.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 30, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - state holiday so no.

Creative work - only a little bit, making backups instead.

Overall - very down.

See you later today.

Dec 29, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  Oh tempores, or mores.

Paid work - Sat, so no.

Creative work - some very good ideas.

Overall - kill me now, Lord Jesus Christ. 

See you tomorrow.

Dec 28, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes, and if this continues...

Paid work - slow day, but did some stuff.

Creative work - some nice work, including a "conceptual breakthrough" which makes it more interesting.

Overall - it's not a question of "if" but "when."  Sorry I doubted you.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 27, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - slow day.

Creative work - quite a lot of stuff done.

Overall - despair, everything closing in.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 26, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - slow day.

Creative work - some artwork for the new project.

Overall - worried and depressed.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 25, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - state holiday, so no.

Creative work - rather a lot of stuff, some good, some unusable.  Still.

Overall - everything is terrible.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 24, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - state holiday, so no.

Creative work - quite a lot done.

Overall - bleh.

See you later today.

Dec 23, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a bunch of work on the new project.

Overall - FML.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 22, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes, damn it all.

Paid work - none, but no matter.

Creative work - a lot of stuff, to the point of finished work, at least on the early part.

Overall - very sad.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 21, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yeah that happened.

Creative work - a BUNCH of stuff

Overall - it never gets better.

See you tomorrow

Dec 20, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking: yes, damn it all.

Paid work: a very slow day, though with good stuff.

Creative work: actually quite a lot of stuff done.

Overall: nice visit from (one of my few) friends.  Not sure why I am drinking, other than I am.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 19, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - slow day.

Creative work - a bit of a breakthrough, and a lot of work.

Overall - hard to say.  Nothing's changed.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 18, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - yeah.

Creative work - a little bit.  Some animation.  Kind of stuck.

Overall - depressed.  No future.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 17, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a lot of very bad tickets.  I'd say more but who cares.  Larry bought me lunch, though, so there's that.  Pity I didn't get to enjoy it (see: bad tickets).

Creative work - lots of work on a creature for the new project.  Pretty good.

Overall - more money problems.  Never less money problems.  I hate all of this.  Thanks.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 16, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - no.

Creative work - some good stuff.

Overall - very down, no hope for anything.

See you later tonight.

Dec 15, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  Oh god.

Paid work - no.  Saturday.

Creative work - a bunch of stuff on the new project.

Overall - you don't want to know.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 14, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full, slow day, though solved some problems. 

Creative work - a lot done on the new project.

Overall - hey there's money, oops it's gone.  Darkness.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 13, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - full slow day.

Creative work - a lot done on the new project

Overall - despair

See you in a few minutes.

Dec 12. 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.  Why?

Paid work - a full, slow day.

Creative work - some good work.

Overall - depressed.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 11, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.  About time.

Paid work - full day, though a slow one.

Creative work - some good stuff on the new project.

Overall - very down.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 10, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, damn it.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff done.

Overall - met another group that sounds promising.  But then drank afterwards.  Damn it all.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 9, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday so no.

Creative work - some starfield stuff.  Looks good.

Overall - dark and gloomy.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 8, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.  Probably going to get rid of this category.

Creative work - some star field stuff, good for whatever.

Overall - hate everything.  Got rid of most of you, didn't help.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 7, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - full day.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - down.

See you later today.

Dec 6, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.  Bound to happen.

Paid work - busy day.

Creative work - nothing much.

Overall - down.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 5, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - full day, very tiring.

Creative work - nothing really. See above about being tired.

Overall - could be worse...and will be.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 4, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - very busy, not terribly satisfying.

Creative work - some stuff on the new project.

Overall - anger and depression. 

See you tomorrow.

Dec 3, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - some work on the new project.  Did some last night, too.

Overall - eh.  Depressed.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 2, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.  I'm still thinking about eliminating this section.

Creative work - nothing yet, perhaps later tonight.

Overall - very down.

See you tomorrow.

Dec 1, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - no, Saturday, but since I'm full time...it still matters I guess.

Creative work - some stuff on the new project.

Overall - ready to die.  Bitch.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 30, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - some work on the new thing.  Good stuff.

Overall - I upset folks.  I hope my path isn't long.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 29, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a good day.

Creative work - some good work on the new project.

Overall - friends are important.  Because otherwise the universe sucks.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 28, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - car died, so no, but still paid.

Creative work - good work on the new project.

Overall - everything hates me.

See you very soon.

Nov 27, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - some more work on the new project.  So that's good.

Overall - bad night of the soul, as they say.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 26, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  I don't care anymore.

Paid work - a nice full day.

Creative work - some nice stuff on the new project.  Happy so far, it's expanding.

Overall - as noted, I don't care anymore.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 25, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.  Way sad after yesterday's "No" but this is a disease.

Paid work - Sunday so no.

Creative work - actually got part of an idea, and actually did some effort on it.  It might be something.  Or not.

Overall - just do it.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 24, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - kind of an ugh day.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 23 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - no.

Creative work - no, but making a current backup.

Overall - damn it all

See you tomorrow.

Nov 22, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - no, but as a full time employee, this (I hope) doesn't matter.  (Federal holiday.)

Creative work - nothing.  A possible idea, but otherwise no.

Overall - adrift.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 21, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - an okay day.  Saw a pre-teen in the tunnel and asked if she was okay.  She said she was.  (Shrug).  Okay.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 20, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing at all.

Overall - went to the dentist, nothing can be done without more money.  So nothing was done.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 19, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - no.

Overall - feel terrible.

See you later tonight.

Nov 18, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - friend project upload finally completed.  I feel as if a weight has been lifted.  Satisfied.

Overall - not great, usual worries.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 17, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - friend project is done and is being uploaded.

Overall - very depressing day.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 16, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - the soundtrack to the friend project is done, meaning the whole thing is complete.

Overall - depression and despair.

See you later tonight.

Nov 15, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.  First (full?) paycheck, and...it's less than I hoped.

Creative work - some soundtrack stuff, none of which satisfied.

Overall - a dark, depressing day.  Suicide seems a given now.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 14, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - a little.

Overall - went to another group thing.  It was okay but made me sad.

See you in a few minutes.

Nov 13, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes, damn it all.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - some soundtrack stuff.

Overall - depressed, but actually enjoyed the soundtrack stuff.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 12, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  This is not good.

Paid work - it's the hundredth anniversary of Armistice Day, so no, it's a state holiday.  But for the first time, it doesn't diminish my paycheck.  Yes, very cynical.

Creative work - the friend project seems to be finished.  Thank god.  Tried to work on other stuff, but was technically challenged.

Overall - an angry day.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 11, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Sunday, Armistice Day, so no.

Creative work - audio work on the friend project.  Getting very tired of this project, honestly.

Overall - good phone conversation, otherwise kind of an empty day.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 10, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - finished up the video portion, now to the sound.

Overall - feel empty.

See you later today.

Nov 9, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.  Worried?  Not yet.

Paid work - yes,

Creative work - some audio stuff.  Be glad to have this behind me.

Overall - a decent day, met some folks at a place, tired but not dead.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 8, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - some audio work, bits of timing.

Overall - feel empty, but otherwise okay.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 7, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - full day.

Creative work - I think the visuals are largely done, now for the sound work.

Overall - very tired.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 6, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full, long day.

Creative work - only sound work still to go on the friend project.

Overall - very tiring day.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 5, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.  But I feel the urge coming back.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some work on the friend project.

Overall - toothache is getting worse.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 4, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.  Now that I am on salary, I may drop this heading.

Creative work - some stuff on the friend project.  Heading into the home stretch.

Overall - lots of anger today.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 3, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Saturday, so no. 

Creative work - a lot of work on the friend project...some re-dos and re-thoughts.

Overall - kind of a blank day. 

See you tomorrow.

Nov 2, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full, tiring day.

Creative work - lots of friend project work.

Overall - things just seem bad.

See you tomorrow.

Nov 1, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a full day

Creative work - timing stuff on the friend project.

Overall - bleak

See you tomorrow.

Oct 31, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - more work on the friend project, which is taxing.

Overall - eh.

See you later today.

Oct 30, 2018 (Tues)

(Internet service was down Monday and Tuesday)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - yes

Creative work - yes

Overall - kind of blech.

See you later in the week.

Oct 29, 2018 (Mon)

(Internet service was down Monday and Tuesday)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - yes

Creative work - yes

Overall - feel ill most of the time.

See you later this week.

Oct 28, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - no.

Creative work - did some good stuff on the friend project.

Overall - despite all the evidence, still thinking of her as a "friend."  Still hurting, still missing, all that.  With luck, that ends tonight.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 27, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.  As mentioned, now that I'm full time this may become irrelevant.

Creative work - power was off most of the day, but I'm about to start on the friend project.

Overall - met with some folks for a train ride, and drinks afterward.  Good company.  Somehow got really pissed off back at the apt.  Not sure why.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 26, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though mostly a slow dull one.

Creative work - more slogging on the friend project.  Need to be done with this.

Overall - angry and depressed.  But looking forward to tomorrow.

See you then.

Oct 25, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.  Though, now that I'm full time, that may not need to be noted.

Creative work - some stuff on the friend project.

Overall - made dinner tonight, and enjoyed it.  Perhaps progress; only tomorrow can smash that.

See you then.

Oct 24, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.  A bit freaked.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some stuff solved on the friend project.

Overall - not at all happy today, things seem headed badly.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 23, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.  And yes, worried.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some friend project work, getting details down.

Overall - feel empty.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 22, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, though weirdly not worried.

Paid work - a good full day.

Creative work - some cat stuff, hand stuff, for the friend project.

Overall - learned some things I suspected.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 21, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, and yes, worried.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - progress on the friend thing.

Overall - not a good day.  Pissed off and irked.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 20, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  A bit worried now.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - some work on the friend project.

Overall - a "meh" day.  Weird phone call.

See you later today.

Oct 19, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes, though still not worried.  Much.

Paid work - a full day, less busy than I'd like but still good.

Creative work - some work on the friend project.

Overall - VM about Knoxville services.  Things...and stuff.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 18, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes, but it was a good run.

Paid work - full day, learned some things, mad about others.

Creative work - some good stuff, here and there, on the friend project.

Overall - more anger, more rage, but met a new friend, so some good.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 17, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some work on the friend thing.

Overall - an okay day, until thought and technology made me angry.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 16, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a busy day.

Creative work - some on the friend project.

Overall, an okay day.  Neither good nor bad.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 15, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a busy day.

Creative work - some decent work on the friend project.

Overall - not a bad day, not a good one either, but okay.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 14, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some good stuff on the friend project.

Overall - behind on bills, but overall...not terrible.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 13, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - revived the friend project and did quite a bit of work.

Overall - not a bad day, still a lot of bad thoughts.

Oct 12, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - an insight into the relationship my friend and I had.  Interesting.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 11, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full, busy day.  Plus!  Health insurance maybe.

Creative work - some nice stuff on a project that could have weirded me out, but doesn't.

Overall - signing up for benefits felt great, but it honestly isn't that much overall.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 10, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a full, busy day

Creative work - a bit of work on the new project, some encouraging, some hopefully only seen for a frame or two

Overall - I'm out of resources and everyone has abandoned me.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 9, 2019 (Tues)

Drinking - yep.

Paid work - a full day

Creative work - some good stuff based on a good suggestion.

Overall - still missing her way too much.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 8, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - first full day of full-time work.  Nice busy day.

Creative work - some detail work on the UFO stuff.

Overall - miss her.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 7, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Sunday, so no, but some forms filled out.

Creative work - some stuff

Overall - missing her terribly, but getting...

See you tomorrow.

Oct 6, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.  Worked a bit on the paperwork for the new position.

Creative work - a little bit.  Ideas are starting to come. 

Overall - still miss her, still hurts.  Hard to think, impossible to dream.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 5, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a goodly amount.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - the usual.

See you tomorrow. 

Oct 4, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - yes, lots of travel, overall good.

Creative work - some stuff which doesn't have a natural flow

Overall - tired and despairing

See you tomorrow.

Oct 3, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - yes

Creative work - nothing much

Overall - tried to call and texted a friend, still very dark

See you later tonight.

Oct 2, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - yes, a full day, though a slow one.

Creative work - just a little, but not bad.  First post-death work I've liked.

Overall -  I let everyone down, everyone lets me down.

See you tomorrow.

Oct 1, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - full day though a slow one

Creative work - a little

Overall - very depressed, very despairing.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 30, 2019 (Sun)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some tests on the UFO thing.  Promising.

Overall - talked to her aunt.  A miasma of emotions.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 29, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Saturday, so no

Creative work - had an idea that didn't suck, and worked on it.

Overall - today is the funeral in Michigan.  Dark clouds.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 28, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking yes

Paid work a full day

Creative work nothing

Overall Keep missing her so much every day, angry and depressed, why did you leave me.

See you tomorrow

Sept 27, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a full, busy day.

Creative work - some work on the mist thing.  Eh.

Overall - finally saw an obit, which made the hurt come back.  Still convinced she held me in contempt.  Oh well, the world.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 26, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking yes

Paid work yes

Creative work a little

Overall miss her

See you tomorrow.

Sept 25, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a full, busy day

Creative work - some work on the trees thing.

Overall - less and less reason to go on.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 24, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a busy full day.

Creative work - some actual work.  Encouraging.

Overall - spoke to some of her other friends, who are also upset and puzzled. 

See you tomorrow.

Sept 23, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Creative work - no

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Overall - God, I miss her so much,

See you tomorrow.

Sept 22, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yep

Creative work - some ideas, nothing concrete.  Need to get this working.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Overall - death day.  Nothing accomplished.

See you tomorrow

Sept 21, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes

Creative work - an idea, but nothing much

Paid work - a full, busy day

Overall - see you tomorrow.

Sept 20, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - busy day.

Creative work - creature design, nothing much

Overall - feel sick, ill, ears bothering me a lot.

See you later today

Sept 19, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - busy day.

Creative work - some creature design.  Bleh

Overall - things are starting to sink in.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 18, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - another full, busy day.

Creative work -  nothing.

Overall - nice talk with a friend. 

See you tomorrow.

Sept 17, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - very busy day, which is good considering.

Creative work - nothing.  Really can't.

Overall - still can't wrap my head around the death.

See you later today.

Sept 16, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some creature design

Overall - just found out a friend committed suicide.  Hard to deal with.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 15, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes, though it's stramge

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - alien faces.  No real direction for anything yet.

Overall - eh, it's a Saturday.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 14, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - full very busy day.

Creative work - nothing much.  Some ideas.  Still worn out creatively from finishing Hence.

Overall - felt ill most of the day.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 13, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a full day, pretty busy too.

Creative work - some ideas, nothing concrete

Overall - damn it all

See you tomorrow.

Sept 12, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - yes

Creative work - uploading finished video to YouTube took forever.

Overall - ugh.

See you later tonight.

Sept 11, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - long dull day, with some stuff done.

Creative work - finished the last chapter.  Yes. 

Overall - depressed.  At least friend has hope.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 10, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking -yes.

Paid work - a full day though a deadly dull one.

Creative work - I think I got the last part into shape.

Overall - it never ends.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 9, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - got the timing down for the last chapter.  Redid some flawed animation, and it's on to soundtrack fixes.  Feel pretty good about this.

Overall - depressed, sad and alone.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 8, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - good work on the last scene of the Project

Overall - doesn't matter any more.  All life is terrible.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 7, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.  But I'm not as bothered as I normally would be.

Paid work - a full day, though a very slow one.

Creative work - some good work on the final shot of the project.  After that, audio work and some trimming, but home stretch is in sight.

Overall - Amazing how some things can just make you angry.  Sometimes friends are worse than family.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 6, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day, pretty good one.

Creative work - not that much, but some good stuff.

Overall - not drinking helps.  Actually thought my tinnitus was gone (spoiler alert: no).  Tomorrow is Friday.  What awaits?

See you tomorrow.

Sept 5, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.  Let's not jinx this.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a bunch of stuff.  Getting there.

Overall - bored, sick, angry. 

See you tomorrow.

Sept 4, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.  Don't get excited, same thing happened early last month.

Paid work - a full day, though somewhat slow.

Creative work - lots of stuff done toward the finale.

Overall - angry, poor, futureless.  That's me.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 3, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.  Yes, you read that right.

Paid work - state holiday, so no.

Creative work -a bunch of stuff toward the end of this project.

Overall - felt ill most of the day.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 2, 2019 (Sun)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - exporting QuickTime, working on sound, getting stuff organized.

Overall - ill and depressed, and trying to comfort a good friend.

See you tomorrow.

Sept 1, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some good progress toward the end of this thing.

Overall - very depressed and not hopeful.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 31, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yup

Paid work - a full day, though lonely

Creative work - a BUNCH of stuff done

Overall - ill and depressed

See you tomorrow.

Aug 30, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a very very full day

Creative work - some nice work, still problems to work out.

Overall - feeling ill all the time is not a strategy.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 29, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full, busy day.

Creative work - some good progress.

Overall - depressed and ill.  Not getting better.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 28, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative - some good work, getting closer.

Overall - ill and depressed.

See you in a few minutes.

Aug 27, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - lots of things done.  Heading into the home stretch.

Overall - it's good to worry about others.  It takes the attention away.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 26, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some good stuff.

Overall - sick as a dog most of the day.

See you later tonight.

Aug 25, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some good stuff.

Overall - so many hands pulling in so many directions.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 24, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though a slow one.

Creative work - some good stuff, bridging the link to the end.

Overall - could be worse, and probably will be.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 23, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - busy day, though a good one.

Creative work - finally working on stuff that needs working on.  Good day.

Overall - another day.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 22, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes, but....never mind.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff, finally tackling the nagging stuff.  We'll see.

Overall - the glass is always half empty...when it's not completely empty.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 21, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - slow day.

Creative work - some good stuff.

Overall - very depressed.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 20, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, a dull one, but some stuff done.

Creative work - work on the outside of the project.  Some inside.  Mostly nothing much.

Overall - very depressed.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 19, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - too frustrated and depressed, so no.

Overall - frustrated and depressed.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 18, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - nothing worth noting.   Feeling burned out.

Overall - seems like my sinus infection is back.  Very painful and discouraging.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 17, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though a slow one.

Creative work - experimenting with tweaks.

Overall - it's not going to get any better, is it.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 16, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full, busy day.

Creative work - some more tweaking for final sequences.

Overall - refuse to allow hope to say anything.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 15, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some tweaks for the final bit.

Overall - eh.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 14, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yep.

Paid work - a nice full, busy day.

Creative work - some tweaking.  That's okay.

Overall - didn't have a terrible day, for once, but it's hard to enjoy when you know tragedy is just around the corner.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 13, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some work on the latest sequence.

Overall - had some good luck, which means something catastrophic will happen tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 12, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - just a few tweaks and trims.

Overall - some good phone calls, some bad real life stuff.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 11, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - no, because Saturday

Creative work - some tweaks

Overall - all coming to an end.

Maybe tomorrow.

Aug 10, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - full day, though kind of slow.

Creative work - some nice work done.

Overall - no improvement.

See you later today.

Aug 9, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes of course.

Paid work - a full day and a good, productive one.

Creative work - not much; a bit of a stall on the next reveal, not to mention project fatigue.

Overall - why bother. Everything is disintegrating.  Even when it doesn't seem to be.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 8, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a slow day but a full one.

Creative work - some nice bits heading into the home stretch.

Overall - physically ill on many levels, but who cares, right?

See you tomorrow.

Aug 7, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.  Scary about the games.

Paid work - a full day, though a dull one.

Creative work - some good work, coming into the finish for Hence.

Overall - not sure how to describe this, but everything seems to be cascading toward death, and I' not alarmed.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 6, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  Damn it.

Paid work - a full day though slow and dull.

Creative work - quite a bit done.  Nice.

Overall - rapidly deteriorating.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 5, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, damn it

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a little bit here and there.  Some nice sequences to tidy up part four.  Looks, sigh, like there might be a part five.

Overall - sick from last night's drinking.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 4, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - way too much, hence the lateness.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - quite a bit done, getting closer to the end.

Overall - pretty bleak.

See you later tonight.

Aug 3, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though slow.

Creative work - rather a lot, really.

Overall - conversion to robot is desirable.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 2, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.  Tempted, though.

Paid work - slow, slow day.

Creative work - some nice pieces, rendered and assembled.

Overall - not as black but I'm sure that'll change.

See you tomorrow.

Aug 1, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day, not terribly busy.

Creative work - some good transition stuff.

Overall - not drinking helps.

See you tomorrow.

July 31, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good transition stuff.  Building up.

Overall - sadness everywhere.  A visit there, very depressing.

See you tomorrow.

July 30, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, though feels less toxic than yesterday.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - getting those transitions in.

Overall - I still feel horrible, but less horrible, because hope is no longer a factor.

See you tomorrow.

July 29, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, too much.

Paid work - Sunday so no.

Creative work - some bits and things.

Overall - bleak.

See you tonight.

July 28, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - quite a bit.

Overall - very depressed, very dark.

See you tonight.

July 27, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though a slow one.  And a hit on the paycheck.

Creative work - some scenes, some sound work...slowly getting there.

Overall - very, very depressed and hopeless.

See you later tonight.

July 26, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.  Not sure what you expected.

Paid work - a decent day. 

Creative work - more work on Chapter Four.

Overall - some positive plans, some negative contacts, some overall blech.

See you tomorrow.

July 25, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, semi-slow.  But that's okay.

Creative work - nothing much.  Hunting down some sound and image stuff for future work.

Overall - I don't know how to reconcile my deteriorating life with my oncoming death.

See you tomorrow. 

July 24, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff.

Overall - life just gets worse and worse.

See you tomorrow.  Unless I die.

July 23, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work -  a very busy day.

Creative work - some, but not much.

Overall - some good financial news, though it doesn't bear reflection.  Sinking in darkness.

See you tomorrow.

July 22, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, though medium.

Paid work - Sunday so no. 

Creative work - more than I thought.

Overall - very depressing day, very despairing of life.

See you tomorrow.

July 21, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  Thought I wouldn't need it after yesterday, but yesterday called in.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.  Sold some stuff, though.

Creative work - some good work.

Overall - fallout from yesterday won't let me be.

See you tomorrow.

July 20, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a pretty good day.

Creative work - some work on transitions and such.

Overall - well, that relationship was due to crash.

See you later today.

July 19, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, but one with a bit of work.  Overall okay.

Creative work - some good work.

Overall - wow, am I a terrible person.  I need to sit back and calm down, every time.

See you tomorrow.

July 18, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a dull day at real work, and a profitable day at old work.  Overall, okay.

Creative work - some good stuff.

Overall - really feel like I am winding down.  I'm seeing many who died at my age.

See you tomorrow.

July 17, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes, but not as much.  Still, yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some on chapter four.

Overall - I'm really in despair.

See you later today.

July 16, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  What, that's a surprise?

Paid work - a full day, though some sadness. 

Creative work - exported some things to Vegas and started a new project.  Lots of sound editing.  Dull, but worthwhile.

Overall - I just want it to be over.  Everything is leaving.

See you tomorrow. 

July 15, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, funny how that happens no matter what.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - despite the umbrella of depression covering everything, I did some stuff on chapter 4.

Overall - this is intolerable, and I suspect won't be tolerated much longer.  Good friend has a chance to have a good job elsewhere, and I wish her the best.  F me.

See you tomorrow.

July 14, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sat, so no.

Creative work - nothing really.

Overall - catastrophe.

See you later today

July 13, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though a slow one.  Hungover and all that.

Creative work - some interesting stuff on Chapter Four. 

Overall - every step is down.  Some nice times with a good friend.  Otherwise it's all dark.

See you tomorrow.

July 12, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though somewhat worrisome.

Creative work - lots of stuff done.

Overall - a friend had some good news.

See you tomorrow.

July 11, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - quite a bit done on what will hopefully be the last chapter.

Overall - not happy.

See you later tonight.

July 10, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes, but different.  Kind of.

Paid work - a full day, though a slow one.

Creative work - a bunch of good animation and design on what, I hope, will be the final Hence chapter.

Overall - feeling bad for a friend, feeling bad for no future.

See you tomorrow.

July 9, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, though less than usual.

Paid work - a full day, in a collapsing theatre.

Creative work - a heck of a lot done.  And some good ideas.

Overall - sad.  Very sad.

See you tomorrow.

July 8, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - actually quite a bit.

Overall - black day overall.  Ill for most of it.

See you tomorrow.

July 7, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - a bit, though not much.

Overall - a very good day.  No, no explanation.  No jinxing.

See you tomorrow.

July 6, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - just a bit, an unfelt bit.  Oh well.

Overall - glad a friend is doing better.  That's all I have.

Tomorrow threatens.

July 5, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a bit.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - rescued a damsel in distress, otherwise nothing.

See you tomorrow.

July 4, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - state holiday so no.

Creative work - only a little.

Overall - it closes in.

See you tomorrow.

July 3, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff, so there.

Overall - I dread life, and tomorrow

See you then.

July 2, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day, and a pretty tiring one.

Creative work - nothing today. 

Overall - don't feel well.

See you tomorrow.

July 1. 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.  I hope it's just residual, because I felt ill all day from yesterday's indulgence.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - no.  Did a lot of reading but no drawing.

Overall - dark clouds gather.

See you tomorrow.

June 30, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes, but oddly I'm not discouraged.  Yet.

Paid work - Saturday, so nothing.

Creative work - most of the day spent on the monthly backup, and system troubleshooting.  But some good creature design.

Overall - no better, no worse.

See you tomorrow.

June 29, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.  Again, no jinx.

Paid work - a full day, empty of work but overall good.

Creative work - some work on creature design, but monthly backup time too.  Posted the new project.

Overall - the cloud lifts a bit, but still hides everything.

See you tomorrow.

June 28, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.  Again let's not jinx it.

Paid work - a full day, but a slow one.

Creative work - finished the latest project and uploaded it.  Did some work, and put some thought into, the next chapter of Hence.

Overall - glad about not indulging last night, but everything still depresses me.

See you tomorrow.

June 27, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.  Don't jinx it.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some thinking on Hence, specifically how to get from A - C.

Overall - ill and depressed.

See you tomorrow.

June 26, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, but a very slow one.

Creative work - quite a lot done.  New Project is almost ready to post.

Overall - depressed and ill and not getting better.

See you tomorrow.

June 25, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, though less than the usual amount.  Not that this maters.

Paid work - a full day with some actual work accomplished.

Creative work - another good day for animation.

Overall - pretty sure these are the last days.

See you tomorrow.

June 24, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - less than usual, but yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a bunch of work on the new project, including lots of sound work.  Might be ready to post by the end of this week, maybe.

Overall - very depressing day.  Nothing good overall.  Started a new project, which outlines the problem.

See you tomorrow.

June 23, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - some stuff.  Actually some good steps forward.

Overall - I just want it all to end.

See you tomorrow.

June 22, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - another slow day, though a full one, but so slow that I spent most of my time doing Creative Work.  And then--

Creative work - I left the files I'd done at work.  Very, very angry about this.  I decided to work on Hence a bit, since I can't do anything with the other stuff until Monday.  Argh. 

Overall - very sad and depressed.  Looking at the end.

See you tomorrow.

June 21, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.  Of course.

Paid work - a full day, another slow one.

Creative work - lots of the work on the project, which I have lost faith in, but will finish.  I like it anyway.

Overall - gone into the "past caring" zone. Is that good or bad?  Dunno.

See you tomorrow.

June 20, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking -yes.  That trick doesm't work anymore.  Little less than usual, though.

Paid work - a full day, though a slow one.

Creative work - more work on the new project, including starting another Flash file.

Overall - very depressed.  Discouraged.

See you tomorrow.

June 19, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes goddammit.

Paid work - a full day, but very slow, so much that--

Creative work - --I brought my laptop into work and did some stuff on the project.  Later, at home, did some further work.

Overall - I just wish it would end soon.  It's already over.

See you tomorrow.

June 18, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work  - a full day, though a slow  one.

Creative work - some very good work on the new Project.  Animation and stuff.

Overall - wish I could discard the alcohol, but then.

See you tomorrow.

June 17, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking -yes.  I guess that doesn't work anymore.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - quite a bit of work on the latest project.

Overall - depressed and sad and not feeling anything toward the future.

See you tomorrow.

June 16, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking -yes.  Wish it was no, but there things are.  Hands in fate.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some preliminary animation on the new project, fixes here and there, and exporting.  Some more refinements and animation.  Good overall.

Overall - no alcohol seems to be having a positive effect, but I'm still dreading all.  And then there's the lapse.  Maybe I can hold it to Saturday.  If not....

See you tomorrow.

June 15, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day, though a very slow one.

Creative work - finished up one side of the new project, ready to import into Flash.  Maybe.

Overall - worried about health, finances, everything.

See you tomorrow.

June 14, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good work on the latest project.  Might have to animate soon.

Overall - felt better this morning (no drinking) but some overcome by despair.

See you tomorrow.

June 13, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day, but a slow one.

Creative work - some minor work on the new project.

Overall - depressed, ill, worried.

See you tomorrow.

June 12, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.  Damn it all.  Wish that worked.

Paid work - full day, but a slow one.

Creative work - some good work on the new project.

Overall - now 60.  Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, etc.

See you tomorrow.

June 11, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, okay, could be better, whatever.

Creative work - some really good work in the new project.

Overall - very depressed.  Weird eye thing.  Landlords thinking about things.

See you tomorrow.

June 10, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some good work.

Overall - very depressed, feel at the end.

See you later today.

June 9, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - lots of stuff on the new project.

Overall - everything, and I mean everything, just gets worse and worse and worse.

See you tomorrow unless God is kind.

June 8, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a slow day, but a fully paid one.

Creative work - work on the new project.  Good work, too.

Overall - suicide seems more appealing.

See you tomorrow.

June 7, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.  Only a matter of time.

Paid work - a full day, a slow dull one though.

Creative work - working on a new project, which I am enthusiastic about...though talent usually falls behind enthusiasm.

Overall - feel like I'm shutting down.

See you tomorrow.

June 6, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - an empty day, but still paid so okay.

Creative work - some stuff on Chapter 4, plus The Woods. 

Overall - isolated and alone. 

See you tomorrow.

June 5, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.  It never stops.

Paid work - full day but a slow one.  New cubicle means more space but isolated.

Creative work - some good stuff on Chapter 4.

Overall - depressed, miserable, tinnitus getting worse.  What happens?

See you tomorrow.

June 4, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - much as I wanted to avoid it, work on Part 4.

Overall - wish life was better.

See you tomorrow.

June 3, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.  Doesn't seem as bad as it should be.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some work on an unplanned, un-thought-out project that I'd worked a bit on a few weeks ago.  Mostly feel drained from finishing chapter 3.

Overall - somewhat down.

See you tomorrow.

June 2, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yeah.  Sorry.  Not too worried yet.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - finally finished chapter three.  The reason for the drinking.  Now I have to start thinking about part four.

Overall - good meeting with a friend.  Felt good about not drinking.  Hope to feel so again.

See you tomorrow.

June 1, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.

Creative work - some final rendering, clean-up, and attempts to fix audio.

Overall - feeling better about not drinking.  Still feel down.

See you tomorrow.

May 31, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a good full day.

Creative work - some.

Overall - very down and ill.

See you later today.

May 30, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.  Almost no, but almost doesn't count.

Paid work - a full day.  A good day too.

Creative work - finishing up Chapter Three.  Some good work.

Overall - very despairing.  Out of hope.

See you tomorrow.

May 29, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - good full day.

Creative work - couple of Project bits, and some audio and video cleanup.  Overall good.

Overall - not getting out of this one.

See you tomorrow, unless I'm luckier than you.

May 28, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - damn it, yes.  Less than recent but who cares.

Paid work - holiday, so no.

Creative work - lots and lots of stuff on the Project.  Very good stuff.

Overall - feel ill.

See you tomorrow.

May 27, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, of course.  Damn it all.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - rather a lot, really.  Chapter three is almost ready to post!  Wow, etc.

Overall - stuck between self-contempt and self-hatred.  Not a good place.

See you tomorrow.

May 26, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - some.  Not much, but some.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

May 25, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff, some better stuff I should say.

Overall - can it be over soon.

See you tomorrow.

May 24, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - what did you expect.  Yes.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.

Creative work - quite a bit on the next chapter of The Project.

Overall - ain't getting out of this.

See you tomorrow.

May 23, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - good day but a long tiring one.

Creative work - only a little, but found some things I was missing.

Overall - why won't god kill me.

See you tomorrow.

May 22, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a long and frustrating day.  More to come.

Creative work - some more good work on "transition" stuff.

Overall - trapped.  Watching "Armageddon" because it affirms.

See you tomorrow.

May 21, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - full day.

Creative work - a bunch of progress on "fill-in" shots.

Overall - anger and depression.

See you later today.

May 20, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some good stuff on The Project.

Overall - cliff edge.

See you tomorrow.

May 19, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - oh yeah

Paid work - Sat so no.

Creative work - some good stuff, some good direction.  Getting 3 into shape.

Overall - worse.

See you tomorrow.

May 18, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yup.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - not much.  Some.  But computer updates slowed everything to the point that "install and reboot" were the only options.

Overall - payday is nice.

See you tomorrow.

May 17, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some minor work on "reaction" shots.

Overall - pretty depressed.

See you later today.

May 16, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.  Cue despair horns.  And regret.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - detail shots for thr Project.  Part three is nearly complete.

Overall - very depressed and hopeless.

See you tomorrow.

May 15, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good work on the Project.

Overall - not great.  Okay.

See you tomorrow.

May 14, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.  Boy did I want to, though.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some soundtrack assembly.

Overall - very down.

See you tomorrow.

May 13, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes damn it.

Paid work - Sunday so no.

Creative work - bunch of stuff on The Project, and some sound recordings which may be useful.  Solid day.

Overall - very good phone conversation but depressed by my weakness.  C'mon, let it end, no one cares.

See you in a few hours.

May 12, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - of course.  Damn it all.  Where's the handle?

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - some solid work on the Project.

Overall - despair. 

See you tomorrow.

May 11, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - damn it all, what does anyone expect.

Paid work - a full day, a good one too.

Creative work - good work on the Project, a bit I thought would be more difficult but worked out nicely.

Overall - it's never going to end, is it/  Why am I not blessed with an ending.

See you tomorrow.

May 10, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes godammit.  I must find the solution to this puzzle

Paid work - full day.

Creative work - more work on The Project

Overall - kill me now.

See you tomorrow.

May 9, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes, but less than usual.  If the "no" days outnumber the "yes" days, that would be a good first step.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - more work on the Project, some good stuff.

Overall - blank.  Feel like two steps forward, one step back, but that's not terrible.  Watch tomorrow be the tsunami.

See you then.

May 8, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - full day, with too much driving.

Creative work - some minor work on the Project.  This scene is going to be a pain.

Overall - very down, feel very lost.

See you tomorrow.

May 7, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a bunch of stuff on the Project.  Possibly a new scene.

Overall - down but not despairingly so.

See you tomorrow.

May 6, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.  I have to get this under control.

Paid work - Sunday so no.

Creative work - some good work on the project.

Overall - fighting but very down.

See you tomorrow.

May 5, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yep.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some good stuff on the ongoing Project.

Overall - very depressed.  Good lunch though, thank you BN.

See you tomorrow.

May 4, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yep.

Paid work - a full day, but a bad day.  I feel I've been thrown under the bus.  Starting to look elsewhere.

Creative work - a bunch on the Hence Project.  Good stuff too.

Overall - deeply and profoundly depressed.

See you tomorrow.

May 3, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a lot of work on the first Project.  Need to find some old elements.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

May 2, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a little bit of work on the new project.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

May 1, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, though a dull one.

Creative work - some stuff on the possibly New New project.

Overall - don't know what to say.  Nothing is good, at any rate.

See you tomorrow.

April 30, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work  - a full day.

Creative work - a bit of work on something possibly new.

Overall - depressed, feeling ill, nowhere to go.

See you tomorrow.

April 29, 2018 (Sun)

Way late on this.

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some good stuff overall.  New project.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later.

April, 28, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - alas yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - some photography, otherwise future planning.

Overall - worse than yesterday.

See you tomorrow.

April 27, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yeah too much.

Paid work - a good full day.

Creative work - some rendering to QT, some thoughts...less than I'd like but more than I expect.

Overall - still waiting.

See you tomorrow.

April 26, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some decent Project work.

Overall - not bad.

See you later today.

April 25, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff on The Project

Overall - figured out some stuff, but otherwise everything is dismal.

See you tomorrow.

April 24, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - very little.

Overall - come on Mr. Death

See you tomorrow.

April 23, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - some work on a possible project.

Overall - very despairing. 

See you tomorrow.

April 22, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, though less than usual.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some sound recording, a small fix to a Project file, and work on a possible New Project 2.

Overall - depressed, distrusting.  Some good phone conversations. 

See you tomorrow.

April 21, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - No.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some photography, a bit of tweaking on The Project.

Overall - worried about money.

See you tomorrow.

April 20, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a little.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

April 19, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - full day.

Creative work - a nice bunch of stuff on the Hence project, and some on a possible new project.

Overall - don't see much hope/

See you tomorrow.

April 18, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking- Of course

Paid work - a full day

Creative work - some good stuff on the main project,  and some thoughts on the next.

Overall - no change

See you tomorrow

April 17, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing, still off from completing The Other Project.

Overall - feel it closing in.

See you tomorrow.

April 16, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - of course.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good work on Part Three of The Project.  The Other Other project being posted to YouTube and thus, no longer a concern.  Got some good comments, though.

Overall - I feel Death is just around the corner.  Why does He wait.

See you tomorrow.

April 15, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, because there's nothing else to do to fill up the day.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - uploaded the New New Project to YouTube, yay me.  Some tweaks on the animation and rendering, but finally got a good product.  Otherwise nothing.

Overall - depressed, scared, future-less.

See you tomorrow.

April 14, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes god damn it

Paid work - Saturday, so no

Creative work - some good sound work, and I think a completion of the New New Project.

Overall - I wish it would all just end.

See you tomorrow.

April 13, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes

Paid work - a full day

Creative work - working on light direction.

Overall - worst yet

See you tomorrow

April 12, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - hell, it's a day late of course.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - limb animation.  Important stuff.

Overall - don't ask

See you later today.

April 11, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes, damn it all to hell.  Kill me please.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative wok - fixed a bit that I failed to note needed fixing.

Overall - depression has returned full force.

See you tomorrow.

April 10, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work -  well!  Spent a LOT of time trying to get the OLD project back on track, found I lost the thread, and then had to reverse a bunch of stuff that was already reversed.  So, yeah, kind of fulfilling but also frustrating.

Overall - I wish the illness would leave me, but then, I'd be left with myself.  God, please let it end.

See you tomorrow.

April 9, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  It's a disease without a cure.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good sound work on the New New Project, and some animation work on the old New Project.  Spent some time looking for old animated stuff, and lamented briefly the lack of a good index thing.

Overall: ill, depressed, down.

See you tomorrow.

April 8, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a lot of sound work, and some corrections to the originally rendered video.  Turns out, Flash keeps settings long after they're relevant.  So, got the New New Project into the proper dimension.

Overall - very depressed, very, very depressed.  Still ill, too, so there's that.

See you tomorrow.

April 7, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yep.  Thought about fighting it, but lost.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - a lot of sound work on the new, new project.  Rebooting cured a number of ills.

Overall - still in a dead-end life.  Need some kind of closure.  But I'm sure I won't like it.

See you tomorrow.

April 6, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - exported videos, worked on sound files, created a framework.  Wish it meant more.

Overall - still ill, still beset by headaches.

See you tomorrow.

April 5, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - the curse has returned.  So, yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - learning more about Audition, but nothing concrete achieved.

Overall - lots and lots of despair.

See you tomorrow.

April 4, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.  Too ill and too broke.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some actual sound work.  Yay me.

Overall - very depressed.  Illness is coming back, no future.

See you tomorrow.

April 3, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.  Thank God.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing.  Starting to train myself audio-wise.

Overall - thought the illness was largely gone, but the headaches are back.

See you tomorrow.

April 2, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, damn it to hell.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.

Creative work - some sound work.  Not feeling anything for the New Project, or the Old New Project, but trying anyway.

Overall - seem to be coming out of the illness cloud...only to be dealt many damned blows from other directions.

See you tomorrow.

April 1, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, damn it.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some sound work on the new project.  Not much, but felt pretty good.

Overall - I think the illness is gone, knock on wood.  Spent a lot of time worrying about money...I guess that's "good."

See you tomorrow.

March 31m 2918 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  And yes I hate me.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - sound recording.

See you tomorrow.

March 30, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.  Hey, if it's every Friday, I can live with that.

Paid work - state holiday, so no.

Creative work - nothing, but for the first time in a while, it bugs me.

Overall - illness and depression, can't beat that combo.  I'm just happy that it wasn't--more.  Wanted to be.

See you tomorrow-ish.

March 29, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.  Very tempted, though.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing.  I'm not worried, really, because the headaches make it impossible to think of creative things.  Or at least do them.

Overall - cold seems to be going, but the headaches are getting more frequent.  Still too ill to be cognizant of the depression.

See you tomorrow.

March 28, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.  Very, very tempted.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - seem to be sliding out of the main illness, but the sinus pain is still around and very intense.

See you tomorrow.

March 27, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - feel as if the illness might be winding down.  Maybe.

See you tomorrow.

March 26, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.  Too damned ill.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - nothing.  Too ill and too painful.  Backup time.

Overall - very depressed about illness and pains.

See you tomorrow.

March 25, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.  Tempted, really tempted, but resisted.  Thanks, illness!

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - very little.  Some sound work on the new project, and a new background for some future possibility.

Overall - very ill, still.  Eye pain comes and goes.

See you tomorrow.

March 24, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - no.  How about that?  In fairness, the illness has roared back, so drinking is unthinkable.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - nothing really.  Again, illness preempts a lot of hard thinking.

Overall - too sick to be depressed, though the ache behind my eye is worrying.

See you tomorrow.

March 23, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.  Yeah, you knew it couldn't last, and it didn't.

Paid work - a good day, and a full one.

Creative work - some work on the New Project, fixing bits, preparing bits, transferring possible sound files, and so on.  Not a bad day.

Overall - still to sick to reflect on my current emotional state. 

See you tomorrow.

March 22, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.  Tempted, but pushed it aside.

Paid work - a little less than a full day, trying to kick this illness.

Creative work - some work on the New Project, not much, but a little.

Overall - again, too ill to be too depressed.

See you tomorrow.

March 21, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.  Only advantage of illness I guess.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some sound adaptation for the project.  Plus, I rendered and imported the project (the New Project) and it turns out to have a length of ... 15 seconds.  Oops.  I already have some ideas to lengthen it a bit more.

Overall - too ill to be very depressed.  Another advantage I guess.

See you tomorrow.

March 20, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.  Tempted, but too ill from various factors.

Paid work - slightly shorter than normal (see: illness) but a good one.

Creative work - some sound work.  Lots of sleeping interfered with anything more substantial.

Overall - too sick to be concerned about much.

See you tomorrow.

March 19, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.  Don't ask me to explain.  Being ill might have something to do with it, but that didn't stop me on the weekend.

Paid work - a full day.  Pretty slow one, but that's okay.

Creative work - I think I've finished the animation on the New Project.  Want to let it sit for a while first, and of course I still have to add sound.

Overall - too sick to dwell on much.

See you tomorrow.

March 18, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes of course.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - pretty much finished the video portion of the new project.  Just need to add insects.

Overall - mostly ill, but (hacking cough) seems to be lessening (hacking cough).  Or I'm fooling myself.

See you tomorrow.

March 17, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - a bunch of stuff on the new project.

Overall - sick as a dog, things don't seem to be getting better.

See you later today.

March 16, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - ayup.

Paid work - only half a day.  Ill with the flu or some damned thing.  Still did good work.

Creative work - lots of work on the new project, and I actually like what I've done. 

Overall - tinnitus bugs me, lack of money bugs me...it's all closing in.

See you tomorrow unless I get lucky.

March 15, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yeah.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - completely redoing the New Project.  Also tweaked the Old Project.  Gotta keep things...things.

Overall - heater got fixed, feel ill, depressed.

See you tomorrow.

March 14, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a good day.

Creative work - a lot of good stuff on the new project, and some thinking on the old one.  Gotta get that done, after all.

Overall - feel ill, feel everything is failing.  Lots of sadness and depression.

See you tomorrow.

March 13, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.  Like you even have to ask.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff on the New project.

Overall - very depressed, but a good encounter with a random citizen was really nice.

See you tomorrow.

March 12, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - full day.

Creative work - quite a lot done, learned some things too.

Overall - mood is very black.

See you later today.

March 11, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes damn it.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a bunch of stuff on the "New" project, which is becoming more work.  Okay, though.

Overall - despair.

See you tomorrow.

March 10, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - Yes

Paid work - Saturday so no.

Creative work - a lot on the new thing.

Overall - had a dream where I died.  It was awesome.

See you tomorrow.

March 9, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - alas yeah.

Paid work - yes, a good day.

Creative work - another good day, figuring things out.

Overall - very depressed.

See you tomorrow.

March 8, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no, believe it or not.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a lot of work on a different project.  Wanted to get a rest from The Project.

Overall - not drinking helps, still feel depressed.

See you tomorrow.

March 7, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some decent work.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

March 6, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some decent work.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

March 5, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, and a pretty good one.  More tomorrow.

Creative work - finally found the answer to the sound problem, and re-did several scenes.  Worked some on the next segment.  Overall, not bad.

Overall - depressed at my helplessness.  Depressed at fate.  Not seeing a future.

See you tomorrow.

March 4, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, reluctantly, but still yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - one sequence in The Project.  After 6 tries!

Overall - okay.  Not great.  Lots of frustration.  Little progress.

See you tomorrow.

March 3, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - nothing today.  Not worried.

Overall - very depressed. 

See you tomorrow.

March 2, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.  We all knew it couldn't last.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some detail work, nothing much, but something.

Overall - don't ask.

See you tomorrow.

March 1, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.  Yeah, this can't last.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - just a bit, but that's okay.  Update:  actually did some painting.

Overall - not too terrible but very cautious.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 28, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.  Well, we all know that won't last.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - a lot of revision stuff, but good work.

Overall - still feel depressed, but not as.  That won't last as well, of course.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 27, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.  Two days in a row is pretty good.  I'm sure it won't last though.

Paid work - a full day, a pretty good one.

Creative work - some decent work on the Project.  Boy is this stuff disorganized, though.

Overall - feel financially doomed, probably medically doomed as well, but not as terrible as usual.  Yesterday was bad, today is not yesterday.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 26, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no. 

Paid word - a full day.

Creative work - some on the Project, but then I notice all the flaws and I'm not really happy with any.

Overall - very, very depressed and down.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 25, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a nice chunk of stuff.

Overall - very depressed and sad and not wanting to go on.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 24, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some work on the Project, misc. stuff.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

Feb 23, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes,

Paid work - a full day.  And a good one.

Creative work - some good work on the Project, and some tentative stabs at something else.  Fruitless, but hay.

Overall - I don't want to say.  It's not good.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 22, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yeah.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.

Creative work - some work on the Project, not bad.

Overall - you don't wanna know, honestly.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 21, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.  Less than yesterday, if that counts.

Paid work - a full day, a pretty good one.

Creative work - some good work on the Project.

Overall - my life is made up of lacks.  And all around is darkness.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 20, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes a full day

Creative work - a bit of progress.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 19, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Federal holiday so no.

Creative work - some decent stuff for the "whatever" part of the project.

Overall - very depressed and discouraged.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 18, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.  Damn it.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a LOT, all done while sober, so that should kill the myth.  Laugh...laugh.

Overall - very depressed, people contact me being depressed, makes me more depressed.  Machines.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 17, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no...awesome.

Creative work - some good stuff, though it seems more like a distraction.

Overall - suicide seems more and more attractive.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 16, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes, of course.

Paid work - a good full day.

Creative work - some nice detail stuff which will probably come in handy.

Overall - suicidal. 

See you tomorrow.

Feb 15, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good detail work.  "Getting things good" so to speak.

Overall - better than yesterday.  Helped a friend to a good birthday.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 14, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some work on the Project.  Not much, but some.

Overall - depressed and angry.  Toilet overflowed.  Argh.

See you later today.

Feb13, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes, most of a full day.

Creative work - some trimmings, mostly.

Overall - terrible day. 

See you tomorrow.

Feb 12, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes.  I'm sure you're as tired of this entry as I am.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some good stuff on Part Three.

Overall.  Kill me now, let me not wake up tomorrow.

Otherwise see you then.

Feb 11, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - bunch of stuff for part three, all of it pretty good.

Overall - very depressed.  Good phone call, very uplifting.  But nothing seems to matter much any more.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 10, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - started working on Part Three of the Project.  Some good ideas so far.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

Feb 9, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.  I can't afford it.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - tweaked and finished Part Two of the Project, and am in the process of uploading.  It'll be nice to have it out of the way.  Now I have to start thinking about part three.

Overall - very depressed, especially over money.  Had to happen, I guess, but I sure wish it didn't.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 8, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.  A good day.

Creative work - lots of tweaking on Part Two of the Project, to the point where I think it's finished.  Want to watch it again a couple of times, just to be sure.  Found a number of tiny flaws which had to be fixed, which also escaped my notice previously. 

Overall - very depressed, feeling very alone.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 7, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - more tweaks on part two, just about finished other than timing issues.

Overall - you don't wanna know.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 6, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yes.

Creative work - yes.

Overall, feel like this is a lost day.  Anyway--

See you soon.

Feb 5, 2016 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, though a bit less.  Still, yes.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.

Creative work - major animation work on Part Two of The Project, to the point where it's probably good to post.  Although I want to be sober when I make that judgment....

Overall - very, very depressed. 

See you tomorrow.

Feb 4, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a lot of good stuff today.  Probably ready to post Part Two.  I mean, kind of.

Overall - more descending.  More debilitation.  More downward.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 3, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  Almost "no" but almost doesn't count.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - some very good work on the "disappointment" bit, to the point where I think it works well.

Overall - very depressed, very despairing.  Helped a friend, I think.  Otherwise...

See you tomorrow.

Feb 2, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day and a happy one.

Creative work - trying to get the "disappointment" bit going.

Overall - worries about drinking and tinnitus.  Mostly okay today and unsure.

See you tomorrow.

Feb 1, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some "Project" work that will fit in.

Overall - not a bad day, much.  Tinnitus bothers me. It's weird tho.  Wish it would be straight forward.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 31, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day...good, mostly.

Creative work - forcing myself, got some good "Project" light affects, and added sound.  Also rendered a slow one and a fast one, just in case.

Overall.  Felt mostly ill today.  Tinnitus is strange, it comes and goes.  Still annoying, still making me think time is short.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 30, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.

Creative work - adding lights to a transition scene.  Good work overall.

Overall - depression more and more.  Tinnitus and aches really piling on.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 29, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - yes, though at a *cough* reduced level.

Paid work - a full day, and a good one.  Mostly.

Creative work - nothing, other than conceptualizing, which really doesn't count.

Overall - very depressed, tinnitus is more and more pervasive.  Impossible problems.  The lot.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 28, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes, though not as much as the last few days.  Still, yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some stuff with the "disappointment" section.  For some reason, I dreaded starting it, but it actually went well.  Still some things to do, but I don't think they'll be difficult.

Overall - depressed, worried, deafened by church.  Good phone calls.  Tinnitus making me crazy.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 27, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - oh yes.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.  Refreshing, that.

Creative work - take 2 of trying to get The Project working.  So, not much, but some.

Overall - feel ill a bit, hate the universe, "A Ghost Story" is great.  Other than that, feel very low.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 26, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - made some elements for the "Disappointment" scene.

Overall - not a terrible day.

See you later today.

Jan 25, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yeah.

Paid work - a full day, and a basically good one.

Creative work - nothing much, trying to do the "zoom" thing.  But interfered with by the "Drinking" bit.  Still, not unhappy.

Overall - tinnitus is worrying me more and more.  Still very depressed, though not at EXTREME level.  And then not.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 24, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes.  Wasn't going to, but...

Paid work - a good full day. 

Creative work - some work on the "Puzzled" part of The Project, just creating elements to animate.  But, still, it's something.

Overall - was feeling "okay" (more or less) until the gnomes hid documents I needed for tomorrow.  Found them, but the whole episode ruined the day.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 23, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes, alas.  Oh well.

Paid work - a full day, and a pretty good one.  Problems solved, which is good.

Creative work - some work on animation testing for the "difficult bit" on the Project.

Overall - still no heat, but made a good friend in the repair guy.  Still very depressed, but not as badly as usual.  Still not great, but what you gonna do.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 22, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - tiny bit of painting, and some animation testing. 

Overall - a bit less despairing than normal, but not significantly.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 21, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - no.  But that never lasts.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a bit here and there, mostly fixes.  Still trying to avoid the Big Thought.

Overall - very depressed, felt terrible most of the day.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 20, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yup.

Paid work - Saturday, so no.

Creative work - fixed the first part of the Project issue - redid the images.  Now I have to redo the assembled video.  Shouldn't be hard but I dread it anyway.  Later:  Still, I managed to make it work.  Looks good.  Now I have to figure out the remainder.

Overall - terrible, terrible nightmares last night.  Feeling very depressed, doomed. "Despair" is the word of the day.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 19, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes, but not as much...

Paid work - a full day.  Frustrating for the most part.

Creative work - nothing, really, just trying to plan all the Corrections.

Overall - lots of despair and depression.  And some surprise that I didn't drink it all.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 18, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - yup.

Creative work - wow, saw a lot of unaddressed details.  Ouch!  Started on addressing these.

Overall - very down, very despairing.  I'd like a nice exit.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 17, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - yes, but less than usual, but still yes.

Paid work - snow interfered a lot, but a few hours.

Creative work - some work on the Project, and some conceptualizing.

Overall - very depressed, very discouraged, very much feeling like I control nothing.

See you tomorrow.  PS:  Post number is 666.  Spooky!

Jan 16, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - some, though less than I'd like.  Damn the snow.

Creative work - a bunch of linking stuff, to the point where the first sequence of Part Two is pretty much ready to go.  Still some work to do...vague work.  Vague work.

Overall - I need the drinking too much, that much is plain.  Now, what to do.  What to do.

See you tomorrow, unless I'm very very lucky.

Jan 15, 2018, (Mon)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - state holiday, so no.

Creative work - bunch of stuff on the Project.  Getting it into shape.  Good, overall.

Overall, very depressed, very discouraged, lay down time.  Tomorrow is another day.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 14, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - Sunday, so no.

Creative work - some re-working of audio, reordering of scenes.

Overall - an okay day, very depressed and despairing, but not awful.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 13 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - it's Saturday so NO.

Creative work - more stuff on the Project.

Overall - feeling ill, depressed,  horrid.  Where is the EXIT sign.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 12, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - another full day.

Creative work - some more work on the Project.  Good stuff, getting there.

Overall - not feeling well, depressed, the usual.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 11, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - yes.

Paid work - a full day.

Creative work - some decent work on The Project.  Nice that it is returning.

Overall - very depressed.

See you later today.

Jan 10, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - alas yes.

Paid work - a long, long day.

Creative work - some tinkering on The Project, and some plans.  Not an awesome day, creativity-wise, but a decent one.

Overall - frustrating, depressing, unhappy.  I seem to come home to those.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 9, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - alas, yes.

Paid work - a full day.  Hooray!

Creative work - some good Project work, whipping the next chapter into shape.

Overall -  depressed, feel ill, wish it would all end.  So, a typical day.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 8, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking -oh yes.  Sorry.

Paid work - a full day.  More tomorrow.

Creative work - a lot of brainstorming, nothing much concrete though.  Still good.

Overall.  Not a bad day, but disappointing.  Good work done,  Uh, etc.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 7, 2018 (Sun)

Drinking - yes.  Hope I haven't started something.

Paid work - well, Sunday, so no.

Creative work - a bunch of work on The Project, including getting some tricky sequences together (not natively using Flash, of course).  Ideas keep improving themselves, so that's good.  I might actually get this done.  Seem to be missing some stuff I thought I had, though.  Not to worry.

Overall - pretty down.  Got a call from a friend, also down.  Down all the way.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 6, 2018 (Sat)

Drinking - yes.  Sorry, but if I can hold it to Saturday, especially if--never mind.  Curses.

Paid work - Saturday, so no. 

Creative work - a LOT of stuff for The Project, so not a wasted day.  And all of that was done before the drinking started.  So, proof that the drinking is not a crutch but a hindrance.

Overall - still cold, the maintenance guy needed parts for the furnace, so cold until Monday.  Deepening into depression, because Sunday looms.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 5, 2018 (Fri)

Drinking - no.  Not even tempted.  Well...

Paid work - lots of it, and mostly frustrating.  Almost tempted to drink.

Creative work - nothing.

Overall - well, mostly tired.  Heating system broke down and repairman couldn't fix it tonight, so too cold to have much of an emotional state.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 4, 2018 (Thurs)

Drinking - no.  Tempted for a moment, but no.

Paid work - a full day, pretty satisfying.

Creative work - some nice work on the Project.

Overall:  not a bad day, still somewhat depressed and drifting.  Still not bad.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 3, 2018 (Wed)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - back to work, a full day.  Tiring.

Creative work - some painting.  Not much, but good.

Overall - feel less depressed than yesterday, but anxious, unnerved. 

See you tomorrow.

Jan 2, 2018 (Tues)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - no.  State holiday.

Creative work - nothing really, some ideas.

Overall:  still depressed but feel better than yesterday.

See you tomorrow.

Jan 1, 2018 (Mon)

Drinking - no.

Paid work - state holiday, so no.  Same for tomorrow.

Creative work - none.

Overall:  PC has been occupied by the year-end backup, so I've been doing a lot of reading.  Depressed over everything.

See you tomorrow.